


Who Needs Frankincense and Myrrh When There is Netflix?

by jane_x80



Category: NCIS
Genre: Christmas Eve, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Stranded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 19:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13014156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80
Summary: On Christmas eve, Tony, Gibbs and McGee find themselves stranded in the desert in Nevada, after their car mysteriously dies and all electronics stop working.An NCIS Christmas story with a slight X-files twist.ForDay 14 of the Happy Holidays Challenge on LiveJournal, the theme is Three Wise Men. Another story inspired by Red_Pink_Dots' artwork.





	Who Needs Frankincense and Myrrh When There is Netflix?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Art for Who Needs Frankincense and Myrrh When There is Netflix?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987960) by [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots). 



> This is the fifth of the stories that [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots) and I worked together to create. I never even considered writing a story for this theme until RPD showed me her artwork and after looking at it, I just couldn't help myself. It had to be done. I mean, look at the artwork!!

[](https://i.imgur.com/ARq42J0.png)

Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Anthony DiNozzo and Timothy McGee were in a car, driving down a dark, lonely road in the middle of the desert in Nevada. They had been called out to investigate a strange case, way out in the desert, had been especially requested to work on the case. And that was why they were all three of them driving down a two lane blacktop road in the middle of nowhere Nevada, where there were no streetlights and no lights signifying nearby towns. They had spent the entire day working with Ducky and Palmer and Ziva, trying to document the crime scene.

The remains of a Naval lieutenant had been found, after he had gone missing for months. Unfortunately, he seemed to have died right about when he went missing, so they were left with skeletal remains. The desert was not kind to its inhabitants. And normally, this wouldn’t bring the MCRT way out here from DC, but the lieutenant, as it turned out, was the son of an Admiral who was pals with both Vance and McGee’s father, and he had been the one to request the best team at NCIS be put on his son’s case. He had also been the one advocating that his son hadn’t just gone AWOL, wouldn’t have abandoned his post or his duties just like that, and had been making a lot of noise for months, refusing to allow his son to just be labeled as AWOL without a thorough investigation. But although efforts had been made to search for him, he had not been found. It was quite by accident that these remains had been discovered by extreme hikers and identified by the military ID that the man possessed. Or at least, they would assume he was the lieutenant, Ducky and Palmer would confirm the identity of the remains via dental records.

At this point, there wasn’t much left to do at the crime scene. In deference to the admiral’s plight, having waited all these months only to keep being told that his son had gone AWOL and these new upsetting developments, and to Ducky’s age, a helicopter had been dispatched to pick Ducky and the body up, and Palmer and Ziva had gone with them, along with the bags and tubs of evidence they’d gathered. Tony, McGee and Gibbs were left to drive the long drive back to civilization by themselves. In the rental car. Where there was now absolute silence.

Tony had been playing with the radio and singing along to Christmas carols which was the only things he could even find on the radio this far out because, of course, Gibbs hadn’t splurged for satellite radio in their rental car. And he had been chattering away with McGee about their favorite Christmas movies, dissecting and arguing about specific scenes in those movies, until Gibbs had smacked the back of his head, stopped the car in a screech of brakes and burnt rubber, and ordered him into the back seat with McGee and for the both of them to shut the fuck up. Gibbs was driving in the blessed silence, and Tony was quietly stewing and chewing on his fingernails. McGee sat and looked at both his senior agents and stayed quiet, not wanting to incur either of their wraths, because now, Tony looked just as angry as Gibbs did, and that was not an expression he saw very often on Tony. Tony was one of those people who seemed to be able to magically hide what he was feeling and it worried him that Tony was angry enough to show Gibbs his ire. McGee felt as though Tony was just waiting for them to be alone so he could really show Gibbs how angry he was at this treatment, so close to Christmas which McGee knew was _not_ one of Tony’s favorite holidays. McGee thoroughly felt like a third wheel, while Tony was shooting daggers at Gibbs. Gibbs, though, was blithely ignoring the blistering looks that Tony was throwing his way.

They traveled this way in silence for perhaps a half hour, never seeing a light, another car, or any signs of civilization until all of a sudden the car engine abruptly cut off, the lights and every electrical and electronic item in the car blinked out and they were enveloped in complete darkness. The car rolled gently until Gibbs slammed the brakes on, stopping the car abruptly in another screech of tires. He tried to restart the car several times, but the engine only clicked a little bit, not even attempting to turn over. Nothing was happening to restart the car.

“Which one of you jokers did that?” Gibbs turned and glared at the back seat.

Tony and McGee looked at each other, bewildered.

“It wasn’t us, Boss,” McGee answered when Tony just shrugged. They both pulled their phones out. And both of their phones were dead. Gibbs’ checked and his phone had absolutely no power either.

Tony started to hum the theme from the X-Files and McGee’s eyes were wide.

“It’s not aliens, DiNozzo!” Gibbs yelled from the front seat. McGee absently wondered how Gibbs could have so quickly identified the theme song for that cult classic. It implied that Gibbs not only watched the X-files, but knew it well enough to randomly identify its theme song.

“I-i-it’s probably an EMP burst from somewhere,” McGee agreed. “Not aliens.”

“Riiiiiiight,” Tony raised an eyebrow, his tone facetious. “An EMP burst that would hit our car as we are driving out in the ass crack of nowhere. Uh-huh, McDebunker.”

“It could be… uhh…” McGee stared at Tony, out of ideas.

“I want to believe,” Tony intoned, and pursed his lips in an approximation of David Duchovny’s classic pout. “Do you think we’ve lost time?” he looked at the dead watch on his wrist and shook his arm violently to see if it would restart.

“We haven’t lost time and it’s not fuckin’ aliens,” Gibbs groused. “Focus on the situation at hand. Car won’t start and none of our cell phones work. What are our options?”

Tony glanced out the front. Conveniently the car had stopped by a signboard claiming that the next town, Bethlehem, NV was ten miles away.

“Sleep in the car and figure shit out tomorrow when chances are we still won’t have power or cell phones and we’ll have to walk ten miles in the boiling hot desert on Christmas Day to that town on the signboard, or we hike tonight and get to Bethlehem tonight and start the process of getting us and the car extracted from this godforsaken place,” he shrugged again. “I vote we walk tonight.”

McGee nodded and Gibbs agreed as well. The three men got out of the car, pushed it to the side of the road, out of the way of other vehicles, and grabbed their go bags and backpacks. Luckily all of the evidence had been sent on the helicopter, so at least they didn’t have to lug evidence bags and tubs to preserve the chain of custody.

“Gorgeous night for a walk,” McGee sighed, staring up into the starlit sky. The stars were so bright that they really didn’t need a light. Which was a good thing since none of the flashlights worked and their phones and all electronics were dead, too. Presumably, they had been drained of power. Mysteriously. “I just wish we didn’t just work all day in the hot sun before we have to do a ten-mile hike.”

“Pussy,” Gibbs coughed at McGee as he walked by, shouldering his bag with a grunt. “Move out.”

Tony rolled his eyes, but he and McGee followed their fearless leader. They were barely ten feet from the car when a bright light shone right down at them from the sky. All three men looked up.

“I fuckin’ told you it was aliens,” Tony muttered to Gibbs.

Gibbs turned and gave him a glare before turning his attention back up to the sky. All three men looked up, Gibbs and McGee in wonder, and Tony in kind of a knowing and ‘of course it’s aliens ‘cause I _told_ you it’s aliens’ look on his face.

“I vote we offer McGee to be anal probed,” Tony continued.

At that, Gibbs actually laughed out loud, turning to give Tony a fond look and roll his eyes, despite the fact that they were probably about to be kidnapped by aliens. But the light began to move up higher into the sky and further away from them before it disappeared completely.

McGee stared at Tony in wonder. “Holy fuck, Tony. Aliens! You might be right.”

“You know, I read that Area 51 is really in Nevada and not New Mexico. They only say New Mexico to throw the nutjobs off track,” Tony said smugly.

Gibbs shook his head. “Well looks like it’s McGee’s lucky night. Aliens or not, no anal probes tonight. Let’s get moving.”

They looked at each other before shrugging and as one, all three men started walking. They walked in silence, even Tony was too exhausted to keep up the chatter. But at one point, he started giggling to himself.

“What the fuck is it now, DiNozzo?” Gibbs growled.

“Anal probes for the anal Probie,” Tony giggled.

Gibbs’ lips quirked up in a semi grin and he shook his head.

“Shut up, Tony!” McGee objected.

“Just keep walking, people,” Gibbs growled, although they could all see that Gibbs was amused as well. McGee couldn’t help but think that for all of Gibbs’ complaints, he really did enjoy Tony’s yabba yabba.

They finally arrived at the very tiny town of Bethlehem which boasted one bed and breakfast with one room available, no motels, and the only mechanic from the next town over would tow their car the day after Christmas. Because of course, nothing would happen on Christmas day. Gibbs sighed and paid for the tow and the room in the bed and breakfast. The bed and breakfast owner was sympathetic to their plight, and very impressed that they were real life Federal Agents and called one of the neighbors, who owned the pizza place, to fire up their oven and make the guys two pizzas, since there was nothing much to eat that night. They had not been expecting anyone to come through the town, especially not on Christmas eve. The three men thanked the owner for her kindness before they trudged upstairs to their room, which was luckily a large room with an attached bathroom. However, it had one king bed and a rickety looking couch.

“Dibs, _not_ the couch,” Tony immediately called out.

“We’re all sharing the bed tonight,” Gibbs declared, shaking his head at the couch. The floor would be a much better option than the couch. “DiNozzo, you shower now. Don’t use up all the hot water or there’ll be hell to pay. I’m going to go down and get us some drinks. McGee, you go pick up the food.”

McGee and Tony nodded and Tony grabbed his go bag and headed into the shower while McGee grabbed his wallet. When Gibbs came up, he carried a tray with a carafe of freshly brewed coffee, mugs, and a full bottle of bourbon. Tony had just come out of the shower, dressed in boxers and a white t-shirt. McGee walked in with the pizzas.

“How about some bottles of water or something, Boss?” Tony asked. “For regular human beings to rehydrate after a ten mile hike in the desert?”

Gibbs shrugged. He had all the beverages that he needed. He didn’t care for water or anything like that.

Tony rolled his eyes, grabbed his wallet and started for the door. A pair of Gibbs’ sweatpants hit him in the back of his head. Tony turned and glared at Gibbs who glared right back before Tony sighed, pulled the pants on, even though they were a tad bit too short for him, gave him a ‘happy now?’ glare to which Gibbs gave him a slight quirk of the lips signifying his satisfaction, before he left, padding down the stairs barefoot.

Gibbs took the next shower and when Tony came back he was just emerging from it, clean and freshly scrubbed. Tony was juggling a case of water and several cans of soda.

McGee took a really quick shower, the smell of the pizza making him rush back out. Gibbs and Tony were sitting side by side on the bed, leaning against the headboard, the pizza boxes on their laps. Tony had turned the TV on and connected his laptop to it, so they had access to Netflix, and he and Gibbs were arguing about what to watch while cramming in mouthfuls of sausage, pepperoni and extra cheese pizza.

Tony scooched over, casually using his hips to shove Gibbs further to the side without regard for his own life and limb, and patted the empty area next to him, indicating where McGee should sit. McGee stared at his two senior agents for a moment, then gave a tentative look to the rickety couch.

“Sit down, McGee,” Gibbs growled.

“Right away, Boss,” McGee muttered automatically, as he obeyed and gingerly sat on the bed. Tony had removed the ill fitting sweatpants and was back in his boxers and t-shirt, and Gibbs was similarly dressed, both pretty much ready for bed. Both men were comfortably arguing about what to watch. Tony was petitioning for Christmas movies, but Gibbs was vehemently objecting.

“Maybe we should watch some X-Files,” McGee suggested.

Tony whipped his head to stare at McGee. “Awesome idea, McAnalProbie!” he nodded approvingly. “Especially after the night we’ve had!”

“What the hell,” Gibbs sighed, nodding in agreement.

They ate and watched one of the funnier episodes, and it surprised McGee because it felt to him like Gibbs had seen it before based on his few comments. When they were done eating, they continued to watch more episodes of the X-files, passing the bourbon bottle back and forth and taking swigs directly from it, and then Tony squirmed his way under the covers, in between Gibbs and McGee and fell asleep halfway through the first of the two-episode story where Mulder and some guy in Area 51 had their bodies swapped. Gibbs turned the light off and slipped under the covers, but he and McGee continued to watch the show. Tony was fast asleep in between them, turned on his side towards Gibbs. McGee gradually realized that Gibbs was petting Tony’s hair absently as they continued to watch the show.

When the two episodes were over, Gibbs scooted down into the bed.

“You want me to turn this off, Boss?” McGee asked.

Gibbs shook his head. “I can sleep through anything, and this jackass is down for the count. Knock yourself out.”

McGee started the next episode of X-Files and before long he could hear Gibbs’ breathing even out. The man was asleep, lying on his back, one arm up over his head. At some point during the episode, Tony moved restlessly in his sleep, and McGee watched in shock as Gibbs who didn’t seem to be awake pulled him into his arms, dropped a kiss in his hair and rubbed his back gently. Tony muttered something in his sleep as he burrowed into Gibbs’ chest.

“Shhh, baby,” Gibbs mumbled back. “Sleep.”

 _Baby?_ McGee’s heart pounded. Did Gibbs just call Tony ‘baby’?

Tony sighed and threw an arm possessively around Gibbs’ chest.

“’M here, baby. Sleep,” Gibbs mumbled.

McGee sat there, ignoring the TV and watching as Tony snuggled into Gibbs in his sleep. He realized after a while that he was holding his breath. He released it and sighed, heart pounding.

“Enjoying the show?” Gibbs rumbled softly at him, opening one eye.

McGee eeped in fright. He shook his head frantically and started stammering until Gibbs hushed him, looking significantly down at Tony and McGee shut the hell up right quick, not wanting Tony to wake up. Gibbs gave him one of those evil grins before he deliberately kissed the top of Tony’s head again and closed his eyes, seeming to settle right back into sleep. After a few minutes, McGee finally breathed easier. He glanced at the two men tentatively and saw that Tony had entwined himself around Gibbs even more, entirely relaxed and comfortable in Gibbs’ personal space and in Gibbs’ arms. As if he was used to doing that. And Gibbs did nothing to push him away, and was perhaps pulling him even closer. They seemed more than comfortable with this snuggly sleeping arrangement and hell, Gibbs had kissed Tony!

He leaned back against the headboard, trying to pay attention to the show, not wanting to read anything into what his teammates were doing while they were asleep. Right? Well Tony was asleep. What was Gibbs’ excuse? Finally he gave up, turned everything off, and made sure that all of their cell phones were charging up – because they definitely needed to have power for their gadgets again – before he slipped back into the bed and settled down for the night. Luckily for him, they had had such a long and exhausting day that he fell asleep quickly without worrying too much about what was going on with Tony and Gibbs.

In the morning, when he opened his eyes, he found that he was spooning Tony – he was the big spoon – his face buried in the back of Tony’s neck, and gosh, didn’t Tony’s hair smell really good. Maybe there was something to Tony’s assertion about using expensive hair products? And as his mind slowly awoke, he realized that Tony was still curled around Gibbs. He slowly pulled back, not wanting to wake anyone, but his hand was caught and squished in between Tony’s and Gibbs’ bodies – which, incidentally, had absolutely no space whatsoever in between them – so he didn’t get very far. Gibbs’ smile caught his eye.

McGee stared at Gibbs, mouth open, unsure how to react.

“He’s easy to cuddle with, right?” Gibbs said conversationally.

McGee nodded stupidly.

“Don’t make it a habit,” Gibbs winked.

McGee’s heart was pounding. Gibbs had just winked at him. _Winked_ at _him_. Was Gibbs telling him that Tony was taken? Was that wink a precursor to Gibbs killing him? He didn’t know what the hell was going on.

Tony snuffled awake as McGee tried to extract his hand. He grabbed McGee’s hand and pulled it out from in between them, grunting questioningly and staring at Gibbs in confusion, sleep addled and puzzled as to the presence of the extra hand. McGee tugged it away and Tony turned to look behind him where McGee was. McGee could see when Tony realized what was going on, because he began blushing then, turning to look guiltily at Gibbs.

“I swear I didn’t initiate this threesome,” were the first words out of Tony’s mouth, which made McGee snort with laughter at how very Tony-like that statement was.

“’S fine,” Gibbs said, his tone indulgent. “Merry Christmas, baby. Sorry about yesterday. You know how I get at Christmas.”

Tony smiled sweetly up at him, and Gibbs leaned down to kiss his lips, a soft, tender, sweet kiss. Right there. Right in front of the wide eyed McGee.

“Merry Christmas, Boss. Merry Christmas, McGee,” Tony said softly after they pulled apart.

“Merry Christmas, Tony. Gibbs,” McGee tried not to stare. Were they going to kiss him next? He couldn’t help but wonder. Was _this_ when Tony initiated the threesome? But they continued to act as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

“I hope this place serves breakfast today because I am starving,” Tony started disentangling himself from Gibbs and sitting up.

McGee just stared at them as they went about their business in the mornings as if Gibbs hadn’t just kissed Tony good morning, or Tony hadn’t snuggled into Gibbs all night. He gave up trying to get his head around it and they all got ready for breakfast and headed down to the dining room, where luckily, the kind b&b owner prepared bacon and eggs, hash browns, and pancakes for her three stranded Federal Agents. She had made them a huge spread despite it being Christmas morning and they might be taking her away from her family obligations. Gibbs slurped his coffee happily.

Tony was asking about strange occurrences in the vicinity.

“What kind of strange occurrences?” the lady asked as she refilled Gibbs’ coffee.

“Lights in the sky. Unexplained things like what happened with our car losing power?”

The lady shrugged. “Can’t say I’ve heard of anything like that. Nothing exciting ever happens in Bethlehem, Nevada. You three are the most exciting things that’s happened, turning up here on Christmas eve. We’ll be talking about you for a good six months!”

“Yeah? Who’ve you been talking about for the last six months?” Tony asked in a deceptively casual tone of voice, spearing eggs with his fork.

“There was this nice man in uniform, driving through with a woman. They didn’t stay the night but they filled up their gas tank here in town,” the lady said.

“Oh yeah? What kind of uniform was he wearing?”

She tittered as she remembered. “Ohhhh he was so handsome. All in white. Like that Richard Gere in _An Officer and a Gentleman!_ ”

“Navy man, huh? Nice. Mmmm. I do love a man in uniform,” Tony said, humming appreciatively as his eyes flicked mischievously at Gibbs, who rolled his eyes, as he drank more coffee.

“He didn’t look anything like this, did he?” Tony continued, and he pulled a picture of their vic out of his pocket.

The lady looked at it and smiled. “Oh yeah! That’s him! And his wife, Vera!”

“His _wife?_ ” Tony asked. “Are you sure about his wife’s name?”

“Oh yeah! I have a great aunt named Vera, god rest her soul, who used to give me the best birthday presents.”

Tony proceeded to get as much information about the vic and this apparent wife that they had no record of. After breakfast and that enlightening conversation, Gibbs sent McGee and Tony to talk to the gas station attendant and see if they had surveillance from back then.

“Looks like it’s back to work, Probie,” Tony sighed. “No more X-files. No more Christmas break.”

“I don’t know. We still don’t have any explanations for losing power, and the light shining down on us last night.”

“True. You should be glad we didn’t have to sacrifice you to the anal probe.”

McGee smacked Tony’s arm. “This is not an episode of the X-Files.”

“I don’t think anyone was necessarily anally probed in the X-Files anyway,” Tony snorted.

McGee rolled his eyes, and decided to ignore Tony’s current conversation. “Besides, you know, it _is_ Christmas and we did end up someplace called Bethlehem, where we found a lead that might help us solve this case. We would never have stopped here if the car didn’t die on us last night, and we wouldn’t have found out about this wife of the vic’s. It’s like we were led here or called to come here or something.”

Tony chuckled. “We’re like the three wise men, following the Christmas star.”

“We bring pizza, bourbon and Netflix as our gifts,” McGee laughed along with him.

“I’m sure the baby Jesus would have appreciated the bourbon.”

“Better than frankincense and myrrh.”

“I don’t even know what either of those are.”

They laughed some more.

“Hey Tony?”

“Hmm?”

“How long have you and Gibbs been together?”

Tony gave him a small smile. “Long time, Probie.”

McGee nodded seriously. “So really, we should have sacrificed _you_ to the anal probe. Given that you’re probably used to that sort of thing?”

Tony gave McGee a startled look before he laughed heartily. “Ah, Probie,” he wiped tears from his eyes. “Gibbs would’ve killed those aliens if anyone but him probed me. That’s why I thought you’d enjoy it.”

McGee smacked Tony’s arm again, huffing in annoyance.

“McGee?” Tony asked, his tone suddenly serious. “This thing with me and Gibbs gonna be a problem with you?”

McGee shook his head.

Tony nodded. “Good. Come on. Your gifts are in my go bag. Let’s see if Gibbs has already sussed them out.”

“I brought your gifts in my bag, too!” McGee grinned.

“It’s like you knew it was Christmas or something,” Gibbs’ voice made them jump. “Three wise men, DiNozzo? Really?”

“I didn’t know that the baby Jesus was visited by two wise men and a wise ass,” Tony said, tongue in cheek.

Gibbs smacked the back of his head and pulled him in for a quick kiss. “Shut up, wise guy, or you’re sleeping in the stables tonight. Without watching _It’s a Wonderful Life_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I can't thank [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots) enough for giving me the opportunity to write a story to go with her amazing artwork. Merci beaucoup, ma chere Elton! Je te serre bien fort!
> 
> I hope that you all liked the story! Definitely go click on RPD's [art post](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987960) and give her some love! :D
> 
> Music wise, I was listening to a medley of Pentatonix's Christmas music, and didn't use any specific songs as a focus for the story.
> 
> The 2 parter of the X-Files that they watched is [Dreamland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamland_\(The_X-Files\)) (Season 6, episodes 4-5) which is one of my favorite episodes. Although I have many favorite episodes of the X-Files. :D
> 
> This wasn't even meant to be a Tony/Gibbs story, I had thought it would be a Gen fic, but once I put them on the bed together, not even the presence of McGee could stop that train. :D
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one!
> 
> <3  
> -j  
> xoxo

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for Who Needs Frankincense and Myrrh When There is Netflix?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987960) by [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots)




End file.
